Friday, September 27, 2019

Cat Authorities Finally Apprehend Toy Mouse


GALION, Ohio – Minutes of tense drama culminated in small Ohio town this week, as local cat authorities finally apprehended a toy mouse on the end of a string. According to self-proclaimed “cat police chief” Cuddles McPaw, up to three cats chased the catnip-scented mouse throughout the house before finally subduing the suspect and taking him into custody in the kitchen. “We’re just trying to make this house a place where we can safely raise our kittens,” mewed McPaw, who was assisted in the pursuit by fellow officers Fuzzy and Gato. “We’ve dealt with this guy a lot before, but he’s always managed to get away at the last second. I think we got him for good this time.”

UPDATE: Seconds after being captured, the toy mouse escaped yet again. Cat authorities suspect the resident human may have been an accomplice.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Tilly and Koby

Aren't Tilly and Koby precious together on this Whisker Wednesday? The Whisker Times reader Becky submitted this photo of these cuddling cat siblings on our Facebook page.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Hero “Rambo Cat” Has Over 200 Confirmed Fly Kills


SANTA CLARITA, California – As the dog days of summer dwindle away, one California cat has won the hearts of a household thanks to his fly-catching acumen. Chaton, better known by his newly acquired nickname “Rambo Cat,” has personally killed over 200 of the bothersome insects during the summer of 2019. Pawing at the blinds with both of his rippling, muscular arms, Rambo Cat was quick to downplay his alleged “hero” status, commenting, “Some cats were born to be cute and cuddly. I was born to bring evildoer flies to justice.” None of Rambo Cat’s caregivers were at home to speak with The Whisker Times and they apparently left all the windows wide open when they left.

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Butterscotch

Happy Whisker Wednesday from Butterscotch - our newest fur-baby and intern. Butterscotch recently graduated from the local animal shelter and joins his brother (and fellow rescue) Casper in the newsroom.

Friday, September 13, 2019

Cat Celebrates New $300 Gift by Taking 4-Hour Nap


SALT LAKE CITY, Utah – Following great anticipation and financial sacrifice, a Utah cat thanked his human caregivers for purchasing a $300 cat tree by ignoring the gift and taking a 4-hour nap instead. The unimpressed Ollie - who also wonders why people like to dangle obviously fake mice around him - saw no point in the contraption upon his reawakening. “The taller human spent several hours frustratingly building this thing and I’m not sure what purpose it serves other than being ugly,” explained Ollie from the windowsill.  He was later seen jumping in and out of a large cardboard box, enthralled by its endless opportunities for fun.