Newborn Kitten Terrified of Own Existence

ALAMOGORDO, New Mexico – Despite being only 13 days old, recently born kitten Picklesworth is reportedly afflicted with a myriad of phobias – including an extreme and irrational fear of himself.  “I just opened my eyes a few days ago, and wham! It’s like a horror movie around here,” Picklesworth said, before running away and hiding when someone sneezed. According to his own self-diagnosis, the kitten started with being afraid of television, running water, and the litter box. Eventually the condition worsened to where Picklesworth is cautiously afraid of even his own existence. “I have a hard time trusting people but I’m hopefully getting better,” Picklesworth stated hiding behind the couch. His progress may be tested next week, when his caregiver brings her loud and grabby nephew over to visit.